A choice to make.

19/11/11                                                                                                                Image

What a glorious day. Last night I felt really tired. It was not an exhaustion following a hard week’s work, but my body was feeling weak and tired…I was told that radiation would have this effect and although I feel spiritually strong I still have a human body. I had a restful night and feel revived and am looking forward to a day free of treatments, people prodding and poking at me, no machines beeping or buzzing around me. This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad therein. I have been told by my oncologist that if I am up to it I may like to take some gentle exercise, I may actually take a gentle jog on my treadmill later.

Ezekiel 18:19-30 was the reading this morning. It is a prophesy about the House of Israel’s turning from God. They were making choices that were displeasing and YHWH warns them to take charge of their choices and turn back to serving Him. We are responsible for our OWN sin. Each of us has a choice to make, we either lead a Godly life or we chose to turn away and lead a self-satisfying life. Society is very good at passing the buck, passing the blame and not facing up to the consequences for actions. I stand amazed at the excuses and blame-game that I hear when sorting out schoolyard issues. The blame is given to a variety of influences such as rain, lack of sleep, he/she said and he/she started it. A priceless one is “My Daddy said that I had to..” I shudder to think of what this generation will be like as adults. When it comes to the Father though we can say “My Father said that I am to love others, I am to forgive and FORGET, I am to serve Him above all other and take up my cross so that there is more of Him and less of me.” God is gracious and forgiving and He desires all to come to Him. God is just and fair and ANYONE that acknowledges Jesus is His Son and repents receives everlasting life, favour and the Kingdom of Heaven. Sounds better than passing the buck.

Sometimes people call God unjust because they experience unpleasant events in their life. This is basically blaming God for the wrong happening to you. We often make choices that are wrong and we have to face consequences for our actions. I have had people approach me and ask about my faith and if God was punishing me. NO! I am a daughter of the Living King and Jesus died for my sin before I was born. I made a choice to follow Him, no matter what – long before my illness. However I had become very busy, absorbed with looking great – beyond just wanting to be fit, I was vain. I was smiling, going to church, teaching at a Christian school – looked the part but inside I was rotting away. Verse 26, “When a righteous one turns away from his righteousness and does unrighteousness and he dies in it (spiritual death), it is because of his unrighteousness which he has done that he dies (spiritually). As mentioned in my page, History, I fully believe that I had spiritual cancer and I needed a stop sign. Please, I am not saying that God brought this on me – no, He allowed it for His purpose to be fulfilled in my life. Job lost everything but his life (and wife), yet he remained faithful to God. He did not blame God, he kept his faith and grew through the experience.

God is a forgiving Father and when one repents He gives them life. To come to a place of repentance it is necessary to recognise sinfulness, to verbalise what it is that you have done. When our daughters were reprimanded we would always ask them if they knew why they were in trouble. A ‘forgive me for my sins’ is a cliché. What are your sins, why are those actions sins? It can be the things not done, things that have been neglected. We need to take responsibility for our choices and actions. YHWH is an amazing Father that is lovingly-committed to His children. He desires us to approach His throne, that is why Jesus died, so we could enter the Holy of Holy and come into His presence.

This is a hard concept to talk about, it is a concept that is controversial and I would ask that you realise that I am so very grateful for the journey that I am on, Paul said that he was willing to loose all to gain Christ – well this is where I am coming from. I would rather go through a little physical discomfort than eternal discomfort.

We are encouraged in Ezekiel 17:31-32:

‘Cast away from you all transgressions, by which you have transgressed, and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die House of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies,’ declares the Master YHWH. ‘So turn back (to Him) and live.’

Thank you Father that You are so lovingly-committed to me, that You have awoken my spirit and healed my soul that I may turn back to You and live. Bringing You glory and esteem. Amen

One thought on “A choice to make.

  1. Kay Craig

    Thank you Carolyn for your reflections and your honesty. God sees your heart that has turned to Him and rejoices in you and through you. As you had quoted also, “Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart!” All Glory to Him for all that He has done! Love from Kay


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